Cult of Fools Weekly (Nov 12, 2023) – “Election Results – The MAGA Zealots are pissed they lost”

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By bdk, CC BY-SA 3.0

As I’m sure you are aware there were various elections taking place last Tuesday. Once we got the results all the fanatical zealots promptly popped up to vent over their losses. Here now are a few examples so that you can enjoy basking in the shower of their tears.

It’s glorious stuff.

Ohio voters enshrined protection for reproductive rights in the state constitution in Tuesday’s election, so Ohio-based right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire did what everyone of the right does whenever they lose elections now: “Vote Yes did not win in Ohio last night. It was cheated.”

  • Translator: “They cheated” = “They did not vote the way I wanted them to vote
  • Apparently there are also furious reports from Ohio Republicans that … (gasp!) … women also voted. (oh the horror … shudders).
  • The essence of Mr Daubenmire’s claim is that it was the people in the cities that “cheated”. Call me a tad picky, but I’ve always tended to lean into the belief that cities where the places where most people lived. So where exactly does he think the population is located, cornfields perhaps? Somebody needs to explain to him that it is people that vote, not farmland.
  • Side Note: Back in 1999 Dave Daubenmire was a fanatical religious zealot who, as a school football coach would attempt to indoctrinate his students. After years of complaints from locals there was a lawsuit and he lost, so he moved on into the religious grifting business instead.

Far-right pastor John Amanchukwu has a question about America in the wake of the Ohio election: “Are we worse than Hamas?”

  • Everybody in the US … er nope. When it comes to fanatical religious zealots who want to railroad their beliefs over everybody else and f**k those that have the temerity to object – now who exactly does that description remind you of?
  • His “logic” is that abortion is murder, which if true, and its not, then a miscarriage would be manslaughter. Yet the standard within his very own holy text advises that human life starts with the first breath and not at conception.
  • Funny thing about all those that are opposed to reproductive heath care is that they also tend to be pro-gun – it’s really not a pro-life stance at all.

Apparently being a racist, transphobic, CRT screaming, book burning nazi was not a vote winning platform in PA last Tuesday…

Moms for Liberty, the book banning, anti LGBTQ, anti-mask, ban CRT lunatics, had lots of candidates who all did rather well … oh wait, no they didn’t …

Moving on, below you will once again find my usual selection of some of the truly bizarre and extreme claims that have happened during the last 7 days. Each is laced with my snarky commentary.

With my usual hat tip to my various sources, let’s once again dive into this very murky pool of raw absurdity and pure stupidity.

Christian Nationalism

Edward Szall and Lauren Witzke believe that in exchange for US military assistance, Israel should hand over control of Jerusalem to Christians: “Christian should control where Christianity came out of.

  • Well gosh, what could possibly go wrong with this “brilliant” idea from these “intellectuals”?
  • What else can I say except to observe that the Crusades have now entered the chat.

Jason Rapert fumes over Republican losses in elections around the country yesterday: “The future of America is on the line and Christians are the only block of voters left to Save The Nation from the current march to the bottom of the pit of hell being led by the Democrat Party in our nation. … If we continue to slaughter babies, idolize the profane, promote sinful homosexual lifestyles, abandon our support for Israel, and reject God – America will fail and cease to exist as we have known it.”

  • The nation needs saving from this demographic, not saving by this demographic.

So yes, a double tap about Jason from this past week. It’s also rather telling that Christian nationalists like Jason Rapert keep trying to “prove” that America was founded as a Christian nation by citing fake quotes. No, Patrick Henry never said that this nation was founded “on the Gospel of Jesus Christ.”

  • If only somebody had carved something in stone about not lying so that religiously motivated extremists like this would wise up
  • Irony alert: Jason is the same guy who vigorously pushed for the installation of a 10 commandments monument outside the Arkansas state capitol a few years back. Apparently some of the big 10 religious rules he wished to promote don’t all apply to him, just you.

A State level GOP elected representative openly explains that he is opposed to democracy …

William Wolfe tells his fellow Baptists not to worry about being oppressed in a properly “Christian nation” in which minority faiths and Christian denominations are persecuted because “if anybody is going to be doing the persecuting, it’ll be us.”

  • Given the wide diversity of beliefs that shelter under the word “Christian”, an overtly “Christian Nation” run by one strand of fanatics would very rapidly devolve into constant religious wars between the various different factions. Each would declare all the others to be heretics and not “true” Christians.


Steven Andrew claims that his daily program created a revival in America that “brought God’s favor to raise up Christian Mike Johnson as Speaker of the House.”

  • revival” apparently means (quote) “Hundreds of people participated“. That’s his rather low bar for the term “revival“.
  • He not only claims that his “revival” of “hundreds” is exclusively responsible for Mike Johnson, but that it also ended COVID. The delusion in this one is indeed truly strong. Quote “Without this revival, the country would have been lost forever,” (LOL)
  • His press release ends with a plea for donations to get him another $480,000 so that his “revival” can continue, and so we come to the real reason for his “press release”. He was really just begging – “send me all your money”

Homophobia on Steroids

Christian hate-preacher Duncan Urbanek says every gay person “is a pedophile.” “If they’re willing to be with the same gender, they’d be willing to do anything.”

  • It’s rather weird for him to confess that being Christian and heterosexual is the only thing that prevents *him* specifically from being a predator.
  • I really don’t need to tell you this, but for completeness I will – His claim has absolutely zero basis in fact.
  • When it comes to things he will not do, I’d place good money on a bet that No.1 is that he would refuse to publicly share his browser history.

Charlie Kirk declares that “the cancer of transgenderism” is “from the pit of Hell.”

  • While very emotive his claim is not exactly theologically correct (for those that actually care about such vapid nonsense). Culturally, hell is supposedly where all the bad people get banished to, and not the place where all the supposed badness comes from.
  • As for being transgender, it is not a choice nor is it a sin (see this Article on BaptistNews, and also check out the Human Rights Campaign article here). Anybody condemning it is simply self-identifying as both intolerant and also deeply ignorant.

For this next item we have a drag show ban protest … in style … I can only applaud Mr Seidal for doing it. A truly excellent move.

Israel & Hamas

So exactly how many dead bodies is enough?

As for the other side of the aisle, it is actually possible to both support dems in general, but also criticise the batshit crazy stuff when it happens …

  • The dems could lose their entire younger generation base over this one deal-breaker issue. Apparently supporting mass-murder and war crimes is not a vote winner.

GOP Political Cosplay in the House

10,000-plus Palestinians killed, including 4,000-plus kids, and the U.S. House of Representatives is busy censuring… the only Palestinian-American member. So this nicely sums the utter Republican lunacy that is in play …

Texas is busy being Texas

They keep coming back with the wrong answer, so Greg will keep insisting on a do-over until they get the answer he wants. Quote from the Texas Tribune …

Never in the Legislature’s 176-year history have lawmakers met for more than three special sessions in a year with a regular session. With the nominally part-time lawmakers away from their families and principal jobs for more than half of 2023, the mood inside the Capitol is dour.

Nebraska Priorities – Crotch Watch

It sounds like a parody, but alas, Crotch Watch is indeed quite real …


Mike Lindell asserts that donating to his effort to secure the 2024 election will be “the best bang for your buck to save your country of any time in history since 1776.

  • Indeed yes, please do donate to help out this poor impoverished billionaire who desperately needs your cash to enable him to continue to promote the big lie.
  • Hot tip for Mike: I hear that Jared Kushner has 2 billion to spare, you should hit him up to chip in.
  • If you check out the clip you may spot that Mike tends to yank the neckless cross he wears from out under his shirt whenever he goes on camera.
  • Historical correction: The “buck” did to exist in 1776, that only came into existence as the official US currency in 1792 … also, donating to this Benedict Arnold to help overthrow the constitution is really not a smart move.
  • Lindell is also legally obliged to add the following note to his donate page. In very very tiny font, the text reads “Lindell Offense Fund Inc. is not a charitable organization for purposes of making tax deductible gifts.” (No I’m not linking to it, but it really is there, just google it if curious).

No Votes for Women

So this is her preferred T-Shirt …

If you are familiar with Lori Alexander (a.k.a. the Transformed Wife)’s, batty views and whom she supports, then I’ve no doubt that, like me, you are just fine with her personal choice to not vote. All we need to do is to persuade her to persuade all her friends to do that same.

Deeply Weird

Stew Peters says that “the next time someone utters the phrase ‘Judeo-Christian’ to you, ask them if they mean ‘Christ-Killing Christians.’”

  • Stew just loves to press hot buttons and stir up a mob – in this case he is striving to go full medieval by reviving a very old antisemitic trope.
  • According to the bible texts it was the Romans who crucified you-know-who, so it would be just as credible to suggest a boycott of pasta as a “response”

Jesse Lee Peterson tells women that “all of your emotional needs are evil” and therefore “a man should never, ever cater to your emotions or care about your feelings.”

  • Least you wonder, then yes, while engaged twice, he has never made it to the alter … you need no longer wonder why.

William Wolfe claims that “White Christians are the most targeted and persecuted class in America.”

  • A huge crowd consisting of the LGBTQ+, non-white, non-Christian, and non-religious communities all enter stage left, coughs, and says … “Er, excuse me but …
  • What is factually true is that there really is lots of Christian Persecution … in the sense that it’s the Christians doing the persecuting, and unlike Mr Wolfe, I can cite evidence.
  • Targeted” nope, but definitely the most entitled and hypocritical.
  • With a church on ever corner, and 95% of elected officials being some variation of Christian, his replay of this old trope is laughably absurd, but then I guess this is all you can expect from an individual who weeps every time Disney releases a film.

Trump: Go back three years… we had the greatest economy in our history

  • Indeed yes, the pandemic truly was the best of times for us all – 14% unemployment 30 million jobs lost, no toilet paper, and freezer trucks being used as morgues … good times indeed.
  • Even without the pandemic, we are far better off now …

The False Profit$

Self-Appointed “prophet” Kat Kerr claims that LGBTQ people “were all chosen by God for very special assignments” but have been tricked by Satan to prevent them from fulfilling their destinies.

  • I do truly struggle to grasp who her actual audience is. Most mainstream consumers of “prophecy” generally find that Ms Kerr is way too weird at the best of times with her supposed “eyewitness” accounts of heaven
  • She comes across as being more akin to a dime store psychic fraudster who has worked out that if she can give her schtick a right-wing evangelical spin then she can gain grifting traction with a rather gullible demographic who tend to lean into believing anything from anybody they perceive as playing on their team.
  • The two word phrase that tend to sum up anything and everything she says is basically “holy shit”, and that’s not an expletive, but a literal description.

Self-described “prophet” Meri Crouley says God loves to rap… and gives an example. (God is also a fan of Aerosmith, apparently.)

  • I don’t know about you, but if you check out the clip you will discover that the rhyme from the God of the universe is rather naff. I’d expected an all knowing supernatural entity to have a bit more skill.
  • It’s almost as if “God’s divine bars” were written by a white lady who hasn’t heard a new rap song in 30 years

MAGA pastor/self-proclaimed “prophet” Hank Kunneman used his Sunday sermon to suggest that there is a conspiracy at work involving Pfizer and Taylor Swift, who he claimed does “satanic rituals and witchcraft.

  • Distill his claim and you get this: “Any powerful woman is a witch. But even a witch can’t have her own power, because she’s just a girl. So she needs to be part of a vast conspiracy, usually with a big corporation.

Does Shane Vaughn understand how voting works? This past week he was telling Republicans that by voting for a “long-shot candidate,” they “are literally voting for the Democrat”: “If you cannot vote for the REPUBLICAN for whatever reason — just refrain from voting for that office – WHY? At least you are not GIVING YOUR VOTE away to the Democrats — when you vote for the LONG SHOT that you know cannot win – you have TAKEN a VOTE away from the Republican.”

Mario Murillo speculates that “celebrity prophets and preachers” made false prophecies about the 2020 election to weaken the church: “It makes you wonder if Satan had a hand in this. Did he get them to prophesy lies so the Church would be weak and unprepared? Did their prophecies, like the ‘let’s all just eat cake’ prophesies of a certain false prophet, lull the Church into letting down her guard?”

  • Murillo is good buddies with self-appointed “prophet” Lance Wallnau, and happily supports him despite all his failed prophecies, his criticism is only directed at the others who are disrupting his own ability to grift.
  • Hint: It’s all about political influence and $$$. No supernatural entities are involved, it’s all just a big con.

Statistic of the week

Regardless of how you measure it the overall trend is rather clear. The very best argument, the one that motivates millions to abandon religion, is not one made by the non-religious, but instead is being made on a daily basis by the religious themselves. Seeing their actual actions results in many quietly walking away never to return …

Meanwhile …

John Oliver has a Best Mom joke nomination …

Side Note: Least anybody is concerned about the tweet above being from “The Satanic Temple”, then permit me to explain. They are a non-religious group that promotes separation of church and state, by cos-playing a role … as in … “Oh, you want to have your religion promoted by a state entity in the name of “religious freedom”, OK then, under that same banner, how about this religion?”, then step back and watch as religious heads go into full exorcist mode by turning 360 and exploding.

Hemant suggests that the following is your opportunity to give a friendly wave to all the people working in Susan Collins’ office …

Finally, here is a useful tool for the MAGA folks …

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