Top 10 Oregon Militia Standoff “facts” – #YallQaeda

Oregon Militia
The  hash tag within the title should be a not so subtle clue that this is not a serious posting.

OK, so here are 10 “facts”, and yes those are indeed air-quotes around the word “facts”, because I’ve mined some of these “facts” from satire-central, which is perhaps better known to you as The Onion.

So here is how you play – Below you can read a list of 10 facts. As you read, see if you can work out what is satire and what is actually quite real,  and see how well you did.

Top 10 Oregon Militia Standoff “facts”

  1. The standoff is taking place at the headquarters of Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, future capital of the Free Republic Of America.
  2. The protests began after local ranchers Dwight and Steven Hammond were ordered to return to prison because their time already served for committing arson did not meet minimum-sentencing laws, which, to be fair, often do more harm than good and are certainly worthy of reevaluation.
  3. They are protesting against the Gub’ment
  4. When asked why they had taken over the federal wildlife building, they explained “You big-city folk wouldn’t understand
  5. The numbers involved are estimated to be about 150 militia members who would otherwise be armed and spouting anti-government rhetoric somewhere else
  6. Their demands include snacks, $5 million in cash, and safe passage to 1874.
  7. Is there legitimacy to their complaints? When Compared to the plight of the Oregon’s nearly extinct short-tailed albatross? Absolutely not.
  8. They have vowed to only seek a peaceful overthrow of the entire U.S. federal government.
  9. They plan to hold out for as long as their supply of whiskey and bison chili lasts.
  10. Their ultimate goal is to garner enough attention over the next few weeks to be brought onstage during rally for a low-polling GOP candidate.

Now before you move on, first make a list of the items above that you think are satire.


OK, so what is factual, and what is satire?

No doubt you have already been overloaded by the media regarding all of this (as have I to some degree), and I confess that I simply cannot take them seriously any longer because all these guys really deserve is satire and mockery.

The Onion Article I used to sift a few of the above “facts” from is here, and so if you are curious to know which is fact and which is fiction, then I’ll make it easy, the “facts” above that came from The Onion article are numbered 1 through to 10 (and least the penny has not yet dropped, yes, all of it is satire), because basically I can’t take any of it seriously at all.


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