A solid QAnon fortress has been the Evangelical community. The idea that a secret cabal of satanic cannibalistic pedophiles rules the world easily gains traction amongst those that sincerely believe not only in an imaginary friend, but also an imaginary enemy. A new development this past week, is that QAnon has now circled back around to focus upon evangelical leaders.
Earlier this week, MAGA pastor Jackson Lahmeyer, who is running a primary campaign to unseat Republican Sen. James Lankford of Oklahoma, and has openly embraced QAnon conspiracy theorists as part of his campaign, became a target of their conspiracy theories. QAnon activists accused the pastor of pedophilia and child sex trafficking.
Why?
Because he posted a photo of his young daughter wearing red shoes. That’s it, that is all he did.
If that last bit confuses you, then permit me to lay out their utterly bizarre “thinking”. The belief is that there is symbolism for red shoes in the occult and that they are also tied to satanic ritualistic abuse and the trafficking of children. Since his kid was pictured with red shoes, then that’s it for then, a clear open-and-shut case of “proof” of satanic child abuse.
This is not unique, Jackson is not alone in being a target. Kenneth Copeland, the TV Scamvangelist, and also world famous Evangelist Billy Graham, are now also being accused of being satanic pedophiles. Seriously.
If indeed you embrace lies and deceit as a way to gain power and influence, then, to once again quote the bible …
for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
Galatians 6:7
So what else has popped up this past week?
Below you will find a selection of truly bizarre claims and declarations. What follows comes with a hat-tip to my source, Right-Wing watch. They simply post the absurd silly claims without comment. The snarky commentary below is wholly mine.
Historical Revisionism
Jacks Hibbs says that nobody ever talks about the fact that while George Washington owned hundreds of slaves, he treated them well and even left one, William (Billy) Lee, half of his wealth when he died.
- The reason nobody talks about it is because it is not true. The official Mount Vernon website says Washington left Lee an annual allowance of $30.
COVID-19
Prominent QAnon conspiracy theorist DeAnna Lorraine announces that she will no longer hang around vaccinated women because the last time she did so, she missed her period and is now worried that she’s infertile.
- One could truly wish it were true that people like her could no longer breed.
- Personally, I’m rather delighted that she will quarantine and avoid all of the vaccinated.
Rodney Howard-Browne is incredulous that anyone thinks “an unvaccinated person who has a healthy immune system is going to be spreading any virus.”
- Rodney has absolutely no f**king clue how viruses actually work.
Robin Bullock declares that if any Christian who received a COVID-19 vaccine will repent, God will “neutralize its effects inside your blood stream.”
- Robin thinks that actually changing your mind about receiving the vaccine will cause it to be supernaturally rendered ineffective … so that COVID-19 can then infect you.
- Yes, his real name is “Bullock” and yes he is indeed, as he always does, dropping plenty of it.
Truly Bizarre
Scott Lively claims that Bill Cosby was sent to prison because he was “a big problem for Obama and BLM” and was recently released because “he’s obviously not a threat to them anymore now that the BLM/CRT agenda has been institutionalized by the federal government.”
- You can of course explain that this is not how the system works, but you also know that doing so would be pointless because for Scott his fantasy trump’s facts.
Lance Wallnau lost his passport, and when he was unable to simply walk in and get a new one the same day, he posted a video on Facebook complaining that he was being persecuted because of his politics.
- Lance calls anything and everything that upsets him political “persecution”.
Shane Vaughn claims that he recently had a conversation with a “liberal Democrat” who allegedly revealed that liberals do not like Vice President Kamala Harris and have an “underground plan” to rally around Republican Rep. Liz Cheney for president.
- No such plan exists … but hey, if you are reading this then I don’t really need to tell you that.
Larry Gaiters says that actor Chadwick Boseman did not die of colon cancer, but was actually assassinated with poison because he supported former President Donald Trump.
- Fact Check: Nope. If you are familiar with Larry then you know that no fact check is actually needed. He spouts random BS on a regular basis.
Jack Hibbs Says ‘If You’re an Evolutionist, You Have to Be Against Same-Sex Unions’
- “Evolutionist” I guess means the folks who are pro-science and don’t embrace “magic” as the best possible answer.
- There is no “Have To” here, despite what Jack claims, the vast majority who embrace science are not raging bigots.
- Meanwhile, Jack thinks that any couple not churning out babies is utterly pointless, so I guess he is opposed to elderly couples.
- As for his claim that being gay is “un-natural”, it has been observed and documented within almost every single species on the planet. Perhaps jack should turn his efforts on bringing Jeebus to all those lost animals who are living in sin.
The False Profit$
The stars here are of course the religious grifters. To be wholly clear, most humans, regardless of their cultural belief or non-belief are decent. Some however deploy and leverage belief as a tool to manipulate and enrich themselves with. This section is very much dedicated to religious fraudsters …
Hank Kunneman says that 2021 is “the 245th year of America’s reign,” which he says “represents two more terms for 45,” or at least “two terms for 45.” (Donald Trump was the 45th president of the United States.)
- I can play this same game. Next year will be the 246th year, so that confirms that 46 (Biden) will get two terms … right?
- Hank is literally reading meaning that aligns with his beliefs into random numbers, that’s how disconnected he now is from reality.
- Reminder: Hank is one of the many who claimed that God had told him Trump would win in Nov 2020. He dedicated many sermons in 2020 to prophesying that former President Donald Trump would be reelected. In 2021, he’s now dedicated many sermons to insisting that he’s not a false prophet and was, in fact, tapped by Jesus to be “a prophet to the nations.”. Meanwhile the nations have called and advised that we need to keep Hank because they don’t want this nutter bothering them.
Johnny Enlow claimed that God had decreed that “something” would happen on Independence Day to signal Trump’s return to office. What that “something” would be, he couldn’t say: “It may be spectacular, it may not be.”
- Being well past July 4th is now a cue for him to pick some random event, and claim it to be his signal. Any event will do, literally anything at all. That’s how this fakery works. He can claim a hit like this.
Eric Metaxas told the audience at the Faith and Freedom Coalition’s “Road to Majority” conference not to fear theocracy because if “maniacal Christians took control of this country, they would make it safe for everybody else to be a part of this country.”
- It might also be worth pointing out that the US is a secular democracy, not a religious theocracy. He is literally advocating the overthrow of democracy.
- It is also worth observing that the road of history is awash with the blood spilt by past religious theocracies. It has never ended well, not once.
- Eric is asking us to “trust” the folks who devote all their energies to imposing their batshit crazy beliefs, racism, intolerance, arrogance, and anti-intellectualism upon everybody else by force. That’s a solid “No”, Eric, neither you nor they warrant such trust.
Kent Christmas declares that “God is doing miracles” and says that “if Donald Trump is not back in the office by the end of this year, I’m going to be shocked.”
- There are two things you can be 100% sure about here. If asked for evidence of just one “miracle”, then nothing of any substance will be presented. The other is that when we get to the end of the year, Kent will indeed be “shocked”, it will not be a Merry Christmas for him.
Greg Locke says COVID-19 restrictions and vaccines are a “precursor” to the Mark of the Beast system and declares that “when tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes biblical.”
- Greg gift is that he knows which emotional buttons to press to keep the donations rolling in.
- The Mark of the Beast belief has been doing the rounds within evangelical circles for generations. Nobody agrees on what it means.
Todd Coconato doesn’t care if you call him a conspiracy theorist because he knows that all the pedophiles, Satanists, and those who dare to mock him will be cut down by God.
- Conspiracy theorists who claim that they don’t care if you correctly label them as “conspiracy theorists” usually do care about such stuff.
Fool of the Week – Woman lets ‘God take the wheel’ as a test of faith in Beachwood high-speed crash
It’s an old meme, and also a Carrie Underwood song. This past week, somebody literally did it.
So this High speed crash happened …
After the car had knocked down several power lines, a utility pole, and crashed into a house, officers responded and arrested the woman driver. The News reports …
At the hospital, officers did not detect any sign of impairment from drugs or alcohol.
The woman told police that she intentionally drove at that high rate of speed and through the red light to “test her faith with God,” according to the report.
She told police she’s been going through some “trials and tribulations” and was recently fired from her job.
The woman said she “let go and let God take the wheel,” according to the police report.
Evan after complete and total failure of her “faith” test, she still insisted to police that she did the right thing. She also had her 11 year old daughter in the car as well.
The lesson here is this. If you ever seriously consider “letting go and letting Jesus take the wheel”, then don’t. This is because Jesus can’t drive.
That’s a wrap for this past week.
Will next week be any different, is it possible for all these crazy people to suddenly find some common sense?
You know the answer. Past experience is an indicator of future behaviour.
What they earn each and every week is laughter and mockery.