When faced with right wing fundamentalist fools expressing a crazy beliefs, one big challenge is working out what is satire and what is an actual belief. Last Tuesday’s Jim Bakker show presented this very challenge. The guest he featured was right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle warning about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and “diseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beings” and turn them into literal zombies.
Another big challenge is trying to understand what nutters like this are actually claiming. In this case it appears to be a claim that nasal tests for COVID-19 were part of a supposedly nefarious plan to obtain DNA samples to be used in the creation of targeted biological weapons that will unleash a disease to turn everyone it does not kill into flesh-eating zombies.
“Zombies that are on the Earth are a disease like any other disease that affects people, and they become like zombies. Is that right?” Bakker asked.
“That’s only part of the story,” Quayle replied. “Zombies also have the evil spiritual entity known as demon possession.”
For those that are stupid enough to take this seriously I have two points…
- The only instance of an actual mindless body consuming the brains of unwary victims is Bakker and his guests.
- Bakker is the guy who did time in jail for using religion to defraud people. He was also caught flogging fake COVID cures on his TV show. This latest zombie warning is simply designed to invoke fear in his viewers (it’s the end times, be afraid) so that he can then flog you his overpriced survival buckets of obnoxious slop. (18 months supply is yours for just $2500)
NPR bought his survival buckets once and tried them. Here is what their taster said ..
They taste, he says, like, “paper-mache,” “a bathroom at a bar at the end of the night in a college town,” and, simply, “one of the worst things I’ve ever eaten in my life.”
What other crazy things have bubbled to the surface during this past week?
Plenty. There is never any shortage of crazy.
You will find below a few more examples that have popped up during the past week.
I’ve highlighted these so that we can laugh about it all. I find that to be the best response to the batshit insane babbling that flows from this cult of fools.
COVID-19
- Devvy Kidd calls on Americans to rise up in opposition to vaccine passports: “If we do nothing, nothing will get done and the evil doers will win. They will continue beating scared Americans into the ground. The push for so-called ‘vaccine passports’ reeks of Nazi Germany.”
- I strongly support the idea of Devvy Kidd opting out of having a vaccine passport. I really like the idea of him and anybody who listens to him being barred from any places I might be in.
- Bradlee Dean attacks Franklin Graham for urging people to take the COVID-19 vaccine: “Franklin, like his father, is nothing short of controlled opposition just like that of an extorted politician. They are making war against God and slaves of men to corruption.”
- So there you have it – a claim that Evangelist Franklin Graham and his far more famous dad, devote their time to making war against God. His “crime” is that he does not want you to die of COVID.
- Next week Bradlee will no doubt be explaining that Mother Teresa and the Dalai Lama were both personally responsible for the Holocaust.
- Gina Loudon and Amanda Head are mad at Morgan Freeman for urging people to get vaccinated because he once played God in a movie: “At some point, God’s got to be sacred.”
- He played that role almost two decades ago. He has also played lots of other roles. His public service announcement made no reference to that role.
The PSA is far more important than anything else, so I’m running it below. He says, “I’m not a doctor, but I trust science. I’m told that for some reason people trust me, so here I am to say, I trust science and I got the vaccine…“
Stolen Election Claims
- Jenna Ellis is using her “Just The Truth” program to continue to spread the false claim that the 2020 election was fraudulent and to call for President Joe Biden to be impeached.
- The title “Just the Truth” is breaking industrial strength irony meters coast to coast.
- Dave Hayes claims that former President Donald Trump hasn’t announced his plans to run in 2024 because he knows “we’re going to have a redo of the 2020 election” once all the supposed election fraud is exposed and the military takes over.
- Remind me again who the commander-in-chief of the military is that will supposedly overthrow Joe Biden?
- Mike Lindell reveals that he hired private investigators to find out why Fox News has refused to allow him to appear on the network and peddle his election fraud claims.
- If asked, I think most would be able to advise Mike that it just might have something to do with his claims not actually being true at all.
Georgia Voter Suppression
- Cliff Kincaid blasts Major League Baseball for moving the All-Star Game out of Georgia in opposition to the state’s recently passed restrictive voter law: “The MLB has, in effect, become an adjunct of the Chinese Communist Party. Other corporations have followed this trend. Marxists see this as a major development in America’s transition to socialism and communism.”
- The thought that Cliff will not be watching any MLB games when I am makes the viewing experience even more enjoyable.
- E.W. Jackson says that Stacey Abrams is “a con woman” and a “manipulator” who is nothing but a “puppet” of George Soros.
- Standard fallback of those that don’t have an actual argument is to whip George Soros.
The Biden Fan Club
- Larry Klayman intends to convene a citizen’s grand Thursday morning jury to indict President Joe Biden, his son Hunter, and his brother James for bribery and money laundering.
- An interesting challenge is that he will need actual evidence. Conspiracy theories don’t cut it.
- If you are wondering who this guy is. SPLC sum him up as follows …”Larry Klayman is a pathologically litigious attorney and professional gadfly notorious for suing everyone from Iran’s Supreme Leader to his own mother. He has spent years denouncing Barack Obama as a crypto-Communist Muslim, convening meaningless “citizens grand juries,” and railing against an endless list of enemies.“
- Karen Hardin warns that a new Holocaust is “being ushered in by the Biden administration which will affect every American personally.”
- This is the one where everybody gets a vaccine and lots of lives are saved.
Racism
- Shane Vaughn Accuses George Soros of Ruining South Africa by Providing Scholarships to Black Students
- The hideous “crime” being revealed here is that George Soros paid for poor impoverished students to get a decent education. The fact that Shane Vaughn thinks that apartheid was a jolly good idea that was “ruined” tells us a great deal about Shane Vaughn.
Bizarre
- Richard Land says that those who praise and support Little Nas X are “under the sway of the Prince of Darkness.”
- If he does not like the click-bait shoes then he is not in any way obliged to buy them. Regardless, he sure fell hard for the click-bait, it has truly triggered many religious nutters.
- By using the term “Prince of Darkness” is he claiming that Dracula is involved?
Fools of the week – The False Profit$
The stars of this weekly show are of course the religious grifters. To be wholly clear, most humans, regardless of their belief or non-belief are decent. Some however grasp belief and deploy it as a tool to manipulate and enrich themselves with. This is very much dedicated to them …
- Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is raising money off her “Mark of the Beast” comments, and she’s using Gordon Klingenschmitt’s “Pray In Jesus Name” mailing list to do so.
- Yep, it is more of this pattern that she stole from the Jim Bakker school of grifting – ramp up fear in the religious community to con them into sending you lots of $$$
- “Prophet” Manuel Johnson proclaims that we will “see the hand of God” at work over the next 90 days as he overturns the results of the 2020 presidential election.
- That background sound you can hear is a tractor busily moving the goalposts again and again and again.
- Mario Murillo declares that God wants the prophetic movement to rise up and “terrify national Democrat leaders.”
- “national Democrat leaders.” are shaking in their boots … with laughter. These self-appointed “prophets” have never successfully predicted anything.
- ‘Prophet’ Robin Bullock Calls on Biden to Confess That He’s ‘Not the Legitimate President’
- If actually asked to comment, both Biden and the vast majority who voted for him, would declare Bullock and all those that refuse to accept democratic norms, are a national embarrassment.
- Reminder: Robin Bullock guaranteed that Trump would win the 2020 election and now adamantly refuse to accept that their prophecies were wrong
I started with Jim Bakker, so let’s end with Jim Bakker.
- Jim Bakker guest, Tom Horn, Says an Asteroid Will Strike Earth in 2029, Unleashing an ‘Alien Virus’ That Will Give Rise to the Antichrist
- After the nutter on the Tuesday Jim Bakker show warning about zombies you might have expected there is no way to top that. Nope, his Thursday show gave us AAAA – Aliens, Asteroids, Alien Viruses, and the Antichrist.
- Jim Bakker is clearly very determined to corner the “Nutters-r-us” market. He really must have a lot of those food buckets to flog to the gullible.
Will next week be any different?
Nope, just lots more of the same for us to laugh at and mock.