Cult of Fools Weekly (July 28, 2024) – “JD Vance and his Couch”

In a tradition previously “inspired” by some truly epic VP picks such as Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin, we now have JD Vance.

You might be wondering what all the memes concerning couches and JD Vance. OK, so briefly here is what happened …

  • It all started when twitter user @rickrudescalves tweeted on July 15: – “can’t say for sure but he might be the first vp pick to have admitted in a ny times bestseller to fucking an Inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (vance, hillbilly elegy, pp. 179-181).”. It is not actually true, the tweet was done as a joke.
  • Because of the actual citation many many people believed it. It was also credible because it comes across as a weird coming of age story – the kind of thing a horny teen would do. Both the account and the tweet have been deleted, but many many others picked it up and ran with it.
  • The idea went viral and so we are now awash with memes about JD Vance and couches. It is also driving the Trump campaign totally bonkers, so for that reason alone many are also embracing it.
  • The Associated Press published a fact check with the title “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch” … but they then deleted that article just 24 hours later because they were unable to actually verify that it is not true.

So should I also now say something about couches?

I really should not because it is not actually true.

On the other hand …

  • Oh come now, we must maintain some standards, If it hasn’t been confirmed that it was *his* couch, then we should just say *a* couch

One other twist is that the “JD Vance fucked a couch” rumour is fast becoming old news. Some have moved on to JD Vance is into dolphin porn …

If you are looking at all this and wondering what the hell is going on and why such stuff is gaining traction, then wonder no more because Vox beautifully explains it within an article : – J.D. Vance didn’t have sex with a couch. But he’s still extremely weird. “The rumors were easy to believe, especially when the potential VP has such terrible ideas about sex.

  • Vox explain who started the rumour, and why rumours about some famous people like Vance go viral, even when they are not true.
  • Its not new, human culture has always been awash with urban legends. We love telling each other juicy stories that we claim are true and so they spread as “truth”
  • As an example, who could possibly resist a joke that leverages the JD Vance rumour like this …

Meanwhile, here are a few more tweets …

Let’s finish this section with a picture of the happy throuple … Vance, his wife, and a couch …

So does JD Vance deserve all this attention?

Yea, he really does, so let’s move on to that now and let me lay out exactly why.

JD Vance and the cat ladies – This one is real

JD Vance really is quite weird.

He really did demean people who don’t have children this past week, this did actually happen …

  • Reminder: This is the same party that is striving to ban IVF
  • Expressing utter contempt for the millions of Americans who don’t have children is indeed a rather unique strategy for “winning votes”.

Republicans are indeed now very much being established as deeply weird and creepy, and that is being fully leveraged …

People are also listening to what he said, and are now reacting in a wholly appropriate manner …

But wait, it gets weirder. With all the pushback that happened, JD Vance apologised … to cats … and then doubled down on the rest …

It all has echos of Vance’s previous proposal back in 2021 that childless people should play a smaller part in U.S. democracy than parents … yes really. Well hey, this was all out there, so when they vetted him they knew what they were getting … and so here we are.

OK, one last twist.

JD Vance is a committed Catholic convert … yes, Catholicism, a religion rather famous for being led by guys who don’t have kids.

OK, a Bonus item, Anthony Scaramucci is now no longer the Worst Trump Hire ever and is delighted to lose the top spot …

You might wonder why JD Vance got picked. The answer is of course the obvious one, he is willing to lie for Trump …

The Cult of Trump

So here is white American Jesus, and yes, it really is a cult …

Nick Fuentes misses the Trump from 2016 when he had real “Hitler energy.

  • Well yes, I get that a Hitler fan like Nick would say this … but Trumps demonising and promised plans for “them” if he gets elected in 2024 does have echoes 1930s Germany. Some might wonder how the German people could have been so stupid to be conned into enabling the holocaust … and not appreciate that they themselves have embraced the exact same mindset with a focus on “immigrants” being drug-fuelled criminals and rapists all coming to get them.
  • Reminder: Nick is famous for expressing his deep love for Hitler and also having thanksgiving dinner with Trump in 2022 and being praised by Trump (which simply means that Nick stroked his ego and Trump liked it). When it all hit the press Trump claims he had no idea who Nick was, and Ye and simply brought him along – Translation, they had zero vetting and so any nutter had access to the President as long as he or she knew somebody famous.
  • My take on it all is this – In 2016, Trump did not actually intend to win, it was just a scam to promote his brand. When he won it was a complete shock, not just for the rest of us, but also him. In 2024 he now desperately needs to win to just stay out of jail and so he will say or do anything to make that happen. His goals are what they always were: himself, his wealth, and his ego. Beyond that scope he has no feelings at all. If he wins, he will proceed to stick the knife into anything and everything that threatens him and his wealth, even if that means burning everything to the ground.

Trump also popped up with the promise that if you vote for him in 2024 then you will never have to vote ever again … he is literally promising to end democracy … forever …

  • Your vote matters … use it or lose it.

Meanwhile the Harris campaign is pulling no punches at all … “Trump is Old and quite weird

Will you be Crushed if you don’t vote for him?

Crushed! …

Christian Nationalism

Here is a selection of recent quotes that illustrate, using their own words, why these guys really are national domestic enemies (to be wholly clear, these guys are abusing religion and cloak themselves with it to avoid criticism and garner support so that they can impose their specific political facist agenda) …

  • Douglas Wilson: “In the republic I envision, Hindus would not be able to hold public office.
  • Ben Zeisloft:Our role as Christians who are involved in the political process is not to compromise with them, but to make them do what we want.
  • Vincent James: “The only way to start the return to moral order in the country is by force … People have to start to realize that faith in God [and] Christian understanding of morality [has to be] the foundation. And this is not gonna be done by choice.

This next one merits special attention. Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon: “I want Christians to have power and with that power, I want it to be wielded righteously. What does that mean? It means crushing our enemies and rewarding our friends.

  • He is going to be really pissed when that happens, and it turns out to be the Christian Majority doing this, the Catholics, and they deem him to be a heretic.

Biden Stepping Down

Shane Vaughn calls President Joe Biden “the biggest coward in American history” for announcing that he will not run for reelection.

  • Shane is rather pissed that all his election rhetoric (Hunter Biden, Hunter’s laptop) has now been wiped out and also that his argument against electing an old guy not applies to just his messiah.

Todd Starnes immediately went off the deep end: “Is President Biden still alive? Is he awake and alert? Is he in command of his faculties? With respect, we need to see proof of life.

  • Literally everything is a conspiracy for some.

The Kamala Harris Fan Club

It is inevitable that they will do to Kamala what they did to Hillary Clinton … and so it begins.

Ben Zeisloft declares that “female leaders are judgments on a nation.

  • The UK’s Margaret Thatcher waves and says “Hi” to Ben.
  • Why is being female a “judgement” … but being a convicted felon and sexual predator is not?
  • Personally I’m looking forward to the next time Ben meets up with Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Michelle Bachmann, Lara Trump, Sarah Palin, Paula White-Cain, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Laura Loomer and then explains this to them.

Jackson Lahmeyer says Harris a “hoe,” though he doesn’t have the courage to do so openly.

  • For those wondering, Lahmeyer is using the term 304, which is simply a mirror image of “HOE”. These are his “Christian Values”.
  • What is going on here is that 30 years ago, Kamala Harris and Willie Brown had a relationship before he was mayor. While technically married at the time, Brown had at that point been separated from his wife for ten years. Nothing secret was going on, it was all very public. They broke up before Brown became mayor. – You can perhaps guess that MAGA will spin it in the months to come while happily ignoring the credible claims that their beloved convicted felon is not only a convicted sexual abuser, but raped 13 year old girls via Epstein.
  • Reuters Fact Check on that very old Harris relationship is here. Meanwhile, here is the Wikipedia page this lists Trump’s sexual misconduct … its a very very (did I mention very) looooooong page. If MAGA wish to cast stones, then judgement starts within their own house.

Lance Wallnau claims that he doesn’t have a problem with Kamala Harris as a person, but rather “I’m having a problem with the demon that is talking through [her].

  • When you don’t have an actual argument with any substance then just make shit up.
  • You also can play this same game, just repeat this: “I’m having a problem with the demon that is promoting bullshit though false prophet Lance Wallnau” (The basis for this claim is exactly the same as Lance’s).

With Biden out, self-appointed prophet Lance Wallnau was also warning that Vice President Kamala Harris represents “the spirit of Jezebel in a way that will be even more ominous than Hillary because she’ll bring a racial component and she’s younger.

  • spirit of Jezebel” = “How dare this female speak, she needs to go home, cook, and be silent” … meanwhile he is just fine with the sexual abuser and convicted felon.
  • For Lance, Kamala is guilty of three “crimes” … she is female, she is not white, she is young … that’s it, that is all he has got.
  • Side note: The phrase “spirit of Jezebel” does not exist in the bible, it is a made up term by guys like Lance. As for the bible character, Jezebel, there is no evidence that she actually existed. Her character is considered by scholars to be a bit of a religious folktale.
  • Irony: The term Jezebel has become one that is generally associated with false prophets …. for example, people like Lance himself.
  • To put all this another way … “Hey, Salem, Massachusetts, can you please send a paddy wagon for a Reverend who has somehow escaped from the 1600’s!

It’s an echo chamber – Mat Staver also says that Kamala Harris “has a very evil, wicked Jezebelian agenda, so don’t underestimate her Jezebel spirit.

  • The “Handmaid’s Tale Spirit” is clearly speaking through Mr Staver
  • “Jezebel Spirit” is going to be on so many t-shirts. I’m not sure that guys like this grasp that such labels identify women as clever and capable.
  • Personally I’m looking forward to our Jezebelian overladies

Todd Starnes tweets: Republicans need to take the Kamala Harris candidacy seriously. There’s a vast number of Americans who will only vote for candidates based on skin color and political party — even if their picks are incompetent morons

  • It’s true, he has the evidence. Here is Todd Starnes himself giving us a real-time illustration of somebody “who will only vote for candidates based on skin color and political party — even if their picks are incompetent morons” …

Mario Murillo shares a warning about Kamala Harris: “As a Christian, voting for her will be the most reckless thing you will do in your life.

  • Indeed yes … it would be “totally reckless” to vote for a lady who is a devoted Baptist, is is clearly far better for “christians” to vote for the convicted felon and sexual assaulter.
  • This is God here … I’ve supernaturally injected this comment to tell you to vote for Kamala.

Gordon Klingenschmitt says that “Kamala Harris will be the first ‘traded-money-for-sex’ prostitute to become President.

  • You and I know his claim is BS, its the Willie Brown stuff that I mentioned earlier being vigorously spun … meanwhile, is he really totally oblivious to his own preferred candidate exchanging money (and wives) for sex?

There is also one guy who has in the past donated to Kalama Harris and merits a mention. Campaign finance records show that Donald Trump donated twice to reelect Kamala Harris. Records show Trump made a $5,000 donation in 2011, months after she was first sworn in, and another $1,000 donation in 2013.

Guns

You reap what you sow …

  • Thoughts and Prayers” … that the standard they have established … right?
  • Something something leopards eating faces … you know the drill.
  • One other point is inevitable. Because the shooter was white and a registered Republican, it’s crickets. If he had been a registered Democrat or simply not white then you can more or less guarantee that Fox News would have been doing nightly deep dives into his family all the way back to Adam and Eve.

Thomas Crooks

Gab founder Andrew Torba reports that he has “learned that Thomas Crooks, the deranged Joe Biden supporter who attempted to assassinate President Donald Trump, may have had an account on our platform.

  • If you are a regular reader of this weekly posting then you will already know this, but for the record, Torba’s platform is a haven for far-right extremists, not Joe Biden supporters.
  • Side Note: Digest his claim with a heavy dose of salt … this is coming from Mr Torba, a guy who is not exactly the most ethical person around.

The Bizarre Firing and reverse Firing of Brent Leatherwood by the SBC

This saga concerns Brent Leatherwood, the guy who currently runs the ERLC. The ERLC (Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission) is the public policy arm of the Southern Baptist Convention.

On July 21 this formal tweet went out. This just establishes a bit of background, Brent who is quoted here simply expressed a bit of basic humanity towards Joe Biden (the tweet is fine). It is a summary of a longer article he wrote within Baptist Press

… then the very next day he was purged …

Then he was unpuged (The tweet below is from Kate Shellnutt who also wrote the article she links to in Christianity Today laying it all out) …

  • Purged by the SBC for a hideous “crime” of being a decent person and then rapidly rowing that back when they get a lot of negative press, is very SBC. These guys don’t just shoot themselves in the foot, they end up blowing their entire leg off.
  • I can only speculate that for some of them their bylaws mandate “don’t be charitable”, just like Republican Jesus advised.
  • We can also note that they really act fast when it does not involve sexual abuse of minors by pastors.

Now the guy who fire him, the chair of the board of trustees, Kevin Smith, has resigned (been fired).

Meanwhile, others are still gunning for Brent …

Why?

The above article explains why. His “crimes” include …

  • He has personally lobbied for gun control in the state of Tennessee in 2023.
  • He signed a letter in opposition to Louisiana legislation seeking to criminalize abortion (Aborting really is a life saving health care choice – Example: an ectopic pregnancy means that not only will the baby die but the mother will as well – blanket abortion bans kill people and are not ethical).

You could perhaps speculate that when the guy who runs the SBC Ethics Commission takes an ethical stance it would not be controversial … but this is the SBC, so apparently it is. His predecessor in the same role, Russell D Moore, also discovered this and so not only resigned from the ERLC but quit the SBC itself in utter disgust at the degree of corruption and deeply unethical behaviour that prevails to this day. (Here are details regarding why )

The false Profit$

Self-proclaimed “prophet” Kat Kerr claims that former President Donald Trump “actually is our president right now, legally in Heaven and legally by our laws.

  • Kat Kerr lives within a political fantasy that she things is real.
  • She is not alone, the rest of MAGA are there with her.

Even Weirder Stuff

Your perpetual reminder that both sides are not the same …

Laura Loomer …

  • If they really wish to go with this messaging then sure, let’s do it. This is a double edged sword, so let’s also focus on the sexual history of their beloved orange messiah, which includes raping 13 year old girls and sexual assault convictions.

Nick Fuentes hates a lot of people, but there are few he hates more than his own supporters, as every show he grows increasingly exasperated listening to their comments even while they are showering him with money.

  • Nick has clearly decided that he is the official collector of the Stupidity Tax.

Ivan Raiklin, Trump’s self-proclaimed “secretary of retribution,” is urging far-right activists—”particularly those who don’t have a big public profile”—to volunteer for the Democratic National Convention.

  • Worry not: There might indeed be a volunteer form, but vetting is indeed done. Security is beyond tight.
  • To also be wholly clear, he is not an actual secretary of retribution. He’s just an online personality who made up that title. He is however embraced by the inner circle to a degree, for example ge is part of Michael Flynn’s Group. Raw Story did a deep dive on this guy (Sorry, paywall on that last link).

Elon is as usual being Elon …

The French, and the Greeks, have to be laughing at the Great American Right-Wing Dipshits who are hyperventilating that it was supposedly The Last Supper being blasphemed. Idiots all …

The Ultimate Endorsement

If the ex-wife of your current husband endorses you, then you really are doing something right …

The prevailing consensus is that Trump really is now screwed. To understand why, just check out the clip that Brian quotes …

Finally…

This was meant to be a joke, but its not wrong …

… and a hat tip to whoever did this …

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