How to completely screw up a Christmas Parade

Like many places Cookeville-Putnam County in TN holds an annual Christmas Parade. They have previously done such a fine job with it that even WTCT PBS has provided live coverage. But this year …

Yes that “…” above says it all.

If I’m writing about it, then you know that something “interesting” has happened.

Let’s jump in

Who can take part?

In theory, anybody can. Just complete the application form with your details. Here is the 2024 application form. You just need to complete it by Nov 29.

You just tell them who you are representing …

… and of course adhere to a few rather sensible regulations.

For example, if playing music then it should be appropriate. Don’t throw candy from your float (but you can hand it out). Don’t dress as Santa because they already have an official Santa. If you use animals then you need to clean up if they poop. You also need to adhere to safety regulations, etc…

All very sensible stuff.

Oh but wait, they also have something else this year.

Since I’m writing about it then you can indeed anticipate a weird whacky twist is coming up.

They have a couple of extra regulations on the application form this year that are mandatory.

To be specific, you need to also agree to the following …

  • You need to agree that the Bible is the inspired word of God
  • You also need to agree that unless you are saved by Jesus, then you are going to hell
  • You also need to agree to dedicate your life to prayer

It gets worse and also includes the following …

  • You need to agree that being gay is an abomination.
  • You also need to agree that trans people don’t exist
  • You even need to agree that abortion is murder

You might now be thinking “Seriously?”

Yep, they are dead serious. Here it is from the 2024 parade application form. You must agree to all this if you want to be in the parade …

If you are now thinking WTF or even WTAF!, then yes, congratulations, you are now all caught up on this bit of utter lunacy.

As you can perhaps guess, I’m not the first to point any of this out. Rather obviously the news of this Christmas Surprise has now gone viral via local media (and rightly so) …

What is Going on here?

If indeed it’s a church run event, then I get it, the churches would want just their tribe taking part.

This however has traditionally been a community run event and so you would normally expect it to be run by the local Chamber of Commerce. They did indeed run it last year.

Apparently what happened is that there was a huge fuss, quite rightly, when they excluded a Pride float, and so it would appear that after receiving all that flack they decided “We are never doing this again“. That left just a few local churches to run it, and they have picked it up the ball and proceeded to run hard and fast with it.

Will PBS broadcast this?

As I mentioned in the opening sentence, WTCT PBS has provided live coverage in previous years.

What will they do now that this has happened?

It was easy call to make, they have announced that they are out and will not be broadcasting it …

What does the city say about all this?

They washed their hands of it all with this statement …

In essence, they are advising – not our problem, it is not an official event, we are nothing to do with it, and anybody is entitled to run a parade using whatever rules they wish, so don’t hassle us about this.

Legally, yes, they are correct.

A Community Parade?

What was is previous years a community parade, is now this year a religious propaganda parade run by a few very specific fanatical evangelicals.

Excluded from being in the parade is anybody who does not believe exactly what they believe.

Rather obviously they are excluding nones, atheists, and also the Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim community members, along with the LGBTQ community. However, that statement of faith means they are also excluding many strands of Christianity such as Methodists, Presbyterians, Episcopalians and even Catholics.

What is perhaps deeply ironic is that a great deal of the things we associate with Christmas and Christmas parades, such as Santa, Elves, Christmas Trees, and Rudolph, have absolutely nothing to do with evangelical Christianity in any way, so I have no idea why adherence to the bible or the evangelical interpretation of it has anything to do with any of this. I suspect I don’t need to also point out to you dear reader is that the concept of Christmas itself does not exist in the bible. The absolute oldest record of Dec 25th being marked as a special date is 354.

But wait, there is some Good News

People have been finding out …

“One of my friends here at a local bakery ended up going through the application process and then once they got to the statement of faith they were shocked,” Cookeville resident Antonio Pedro explained.

The good news here is that the wider community has decided F**k this shit”, we will have our own parade and include everybody” …

This year, some people in Cookeville are raising money for their own all-inclusive parade after hearing some people might not be welcome at the original. 

“It was overwhelming the support that we got,” GoFundMe creator, Montana Chambers, said. “[We] achieved our goal in a matter of just one day. Just one day! That’s how incredible our community is.”

“To get the Christmas parade to what it once was to where the community comes together as a community and not just a religion,” Pedro said.

“Discrimination against ANY group of people is the antithesis of what Jesus taught,” UCP said in a statement. “The Bible says to love one another, and do no harm. This is intentional harm, and unacceptable. We hope that our core mission of inclusion, equality, and love spread through the hearts and minds of those in control, and that they find clarity and peace with those they view as ‘unworthy’.”

Indeed yes, there really is now going to be a far better whole community parade, the GoFundMe is doing well …

… and yes, it is really happening …

One Last Thought

The people who wish to actually attend a community parade that includes the full community and not just the one narrow segment of it that appears to hate absolutely everybody who does not believe exactly what they believe, will indeed now have an option to do exactly that and can vote with their feet.

Meanwhile, let the evangelicals have their very own damn parade and openly demonstrate to the entire community just how deep and intolerant their bigotry is. We live in an age that lacks rather a lot of tolerance, empathy, and basic decency, so we do need lots of nones and atheists to remedy things. An evangelical parade of exclusion and bigotry will go a long way towards helping that to happen.

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